The One Thing We've Gotten Completely Wrong About Self-Care

what we've gotten completely wrong about self-care

The One Thing We’ve Gotten Completely Wrong About Self-Care

Oh...self-care. You have the best intentions, but in my practice I keep finding out that you’re so misunderstood. 

Between our culture of glorified busyness and companies always trying to shove new self-care products down our throats under the guise of #treatyoself, it makes self-care just seem like one more thing we have to check off of our to-do list.

And hey, don’t get me wrong...I love a good checklist. There’s nothing like the satisfaction of writing things down, one-by-one, and then checking them off as I go. WHEW it almost gives me goosebumps just thinking about it.

I still remember when I was so desperate for a life change, I was doing endless late-night Google searching to find a way out of my life. One of my most common Google searches during that phase was, “ways to practice self-care.”

I’d heard a lot about self-care and how it could change my life, so I was super pumped to add it to my to-do list. Yes! Another thing to check off!

But if you’re anything like me, you’ve probably gotten to the point with your to-do list where it starts to kind of piss you off. That point where you just want to chuck the whole thing into the garbage because you resent that list and the past you who set all those amazing tasks and goals for yourself. 

When we get to that point, self-care is just one more thing to check off. One more task. One more responsibility. One more resentment.

Once I started to resent self-care, I knew something was wrong.

I had to find a different way to think about self-care, or it was just going to continue being a chore. I needed to make self-care something that couldn’t easily be pushed off the list in favor of other *more important* things.

The most fulfilling types of self-care usually demand presence and intention. When we’re resentful about something, it’s HARD to give it the intention it deserves.

Self-care doesn’t have to look pretty, it just needs to be the right thing for you in that moment.

One way I love to practice self-care is with one really important question:

What do I need right now?

The answer to that question is the most important tools we can use in our self-care practice. The best part about this tool is...we always have access to this.

When I first started doing this, I was surprised. I figured I’d ask myself the question and usually come up with something similar. But I quickly realized that if I’m truly tuned in and listening, I always get different answers when I ask myself this question. Sometimes I need to journal something out, or watch a favorite childhood movie, or meditate for 10 minutes, or take a walk, or make a nice breakfast, or call my mom.

And hey...by the way, this isn’t just a question you ask yourself once and never again. This is a question that you’ll be able to keep coming back to over and over.

So be sure to write this question down - on a napkin from your purse, a post it, or maybe just a tattoo on your arm. Yeah, it’s THAT important.

Can’t wait to see how this question works its magic for you!

Xo Jess

Jess WagnerComment